Taylor on TV

Barack "Paper Scissors" Obama?

When last we saw Meredith and Derek, she’d made the outline of their dream home with lighted candles, signaling she was ready to move into a committed relationship.

Lauren Conrad continues to defy the laws of celebrity and the greater universe: The 22-year-old reality star and aspiring fashion designer has inked a book deal. Yes. LC is now writing fiction, which I suppose is a step up from filming a fictional TV show and calling it reality, which is what she does on “The Hills.”

The 90210 spinoff premieres this week on The CW, which is significant only in that it marks the return of Shannen Doherty to the ZIP code that made her famous. (Or infamous. Whatever.)

Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe is the guest judge on “Project Runway” next week, which is as good an excuse as any to discuss her upcoming reality show, “The Rachel Zoe Project” (premieres Sept. 9 on Bravo). The glut of celebrity guests on “Project Runway” this season is bordering on offensive, but at least Zoe is qualified to judge a runway competition. Unlike Brooke Shields, who hasn’t been a “fashion icon” since the 1980s but has a show to promote on sister channel NBC, and Apolo Anton Ohno, whose sole purpose for appearing was to remind everyone to watch the Olympics.

In a stunt worthy of reality television, this year’s Emmys will be hosted by the five nominees in the new category recognizing — you guessed it — reality TV show hosts. It’s so evil genius, you have to wonder if it was Ryan Seacrest’s idea. That guy is so busy, it makes sense that he’d delegate his Emmy-hosting duties to four of his best frienemies, and maybe sabotage Heidi Klum’s dress Miss-Puerto-Rico-style while he’s at it. Auf Wiedersehen, Mrs. Seal!

No time to watch TV this week. (Sacrilege!) I was too busy eating, sleeping and breathing TV at the annual gathering of writers, producers, network executives and stars in Beverly Hills. In the interest of space, I’ve compiled a list of my top seven — yes, seven — highlights of the week:

It used to be so much simpler. If you wanted to watch a TV show you had to tune in at the time the network aired it and slog through the commercial breaks -- except when taking the occasional kitchen trip or bathroom run.

Believe it or not, I used to be more of a movie guy. It's not that I didn't watch TV. Many a night in my youth I laid sprawled out on the couch watching "The A-Team" and "Knight Rider" and "MacGyver." Entertaining shows? Sure. But worthy of comparison to the best of modern cinema? Not so much. Sure there was the occasional television series of such high quality that it could compare favorably to film -- "Hill Street Blues" comes to mind -- but more often, TV was junk food for the eyes and brain, never an outlet for serious storytelling.